"LAND OF CONFUSION" genesis

At tonights Painesville Council Meeting some very important announcements will be brought  forward.

At the top Apple Inc. presently located in Seattle Washington has decided to move it's corporate headquarters to Painesville. The business climate in Painesville is what exactly they claim to be looking for.
As in the near future Monroe Inc. makers of spring, shocks, and struts has announced they maybe also joining us here in Painesville. Corporate studies have shown Painesville residents spend more per-capitia on their products than anywhere in this country.
Also the State of Ohio DOT has awarded Painesville a 2.7 Million dollar Grant to improve streets that have been neglected for the past 20 years.

Due to Painesvilles 'streetscape project" Nordstrom is looking for a site near Main St. for one of there up-scale stores. In the announcement "Painesville residents have gone long enough with out the high quality they are deserving".

Whole Foods is presently looking for a location downtown the problem presently is we have "whole foods we just don't see much whole cash".

Also it is rumored that Macy's or Sak's-fifth Ave. is looking at the former CORE site as a future sweatshop.

Lake Erie College announced that the season opening men's basketball schedule will open with a game against the Louisville Cardinals. With the winner taking on the winner of the Duke Ohio State match up.
This is on the heels of the Storm taking on Alabama in the football home opener tickets are presently on sale for both events prices starting at $5.00.

Ohio State University Department of Agriculture will be in Painesville to investigate why it seems Painesville chicken's eggs have a 90% lower cholesterol level. Along with some of the eggs having a tuff clay-like shell?

Painesville City Local Schools have decided to put a new 100 mil levy on the ballot.
It seem we are spending close to $12,000 a year per student. Under this new plan Teachers, administrator's, cooks, bus drivers  ect. will no longer be needed. When a Painesville student reaches the legal age of 18 he will be handed a check for 1 million dollars, congratulations along with a map.